“Simple”update

First of all, Happy New Year!
Well, not officially 21 years old this year,
but I changed a lot during the last year.
Not going to conclude anything about last year,
since it's already the 5th day of 2011.
However, still need to update about some memorable time on the last few days in 2011.

Since I went to ShangHai,
I seldom post my life over there.
Probably because it's quite hard for me to on Blogger there,
(have to use VPN to do so)
or it's because nothing is worth for me to write?

Whatever it is, I went back HOME,my second HOME.
I am so happy and excited when I stepped in the terminal,
I greet myself: Welcome Home! And I forced my b.g.f. to say so.:P
Nice weather, nice people, familiar surroundings, familiar sounds,
clean streets, systematic uni, healthy food...etc.
Oops..and malaysian gang!Miss them so much there.
2 more coming back,stay tuned!

Feel thankful to J and S,
I am really happy to see them in ShangHai.
I can't feel any distance or awkwardness between us,
and I am glad we don't.

We travel together to FengHuang, in HuNan province.
It's a very small town full of surprises.
Before going there, my friend told me that it's not a good travelling place because it's too commercial.
"Do not follow others,dare to be unique, dare to explore yourself"--I should say.
I admit that it's commercialise, but if you want to develop a city to become tourist area,
the fact is it will become commercialise, the only matter is how commercial it is.

However, we do like this small town, because it gave us too many surprises.
We swear that we are going to come back after 10years,
bringing our family, and do not call us AUNTY,but EE EE.
---Really can't imagine after 10 years, J and S's kids are going to call me YAN ee ee....----:O
Somebody will be curious of what kind of surprises we will get in that small town.
Well, it's not that "gift's"surprise, it's experience I should say.
And we met different surprises everyday.
Some shocked us, and some is annoying, some is interesting.

Let's start with the annoying part.
It's early morning and the weather is just nice.
We went out for breakfast and look for dessert.
An old woman from 苗族 ask us if we want to take photo with their traditional costumes.
Actually we are planning to do so, but we need to get our dessert and finish it only we want to take photos.
We told the old woman that we are going to go back after we finish,
and we swear we will look for her and give her the deal.
I thought we make it crystal clear, but she keeps following us to buy dessert.
On the journey, I keep ask her to go back and stated that we are going to finish the dessert and do some window shopping, which will take quite a long time.
I am not sure if she knows Chinese, cause she can only speaks her own language.
At the end, she followed us to a creative shop and we gave her RMB1 only she left while scolding us.
Super annoying. I tried to talk to her, find others to talk to her, but none of the work.
She made me mad and I almost lost my mind and patience.
"Surprise"of the day --> Annoying woman.

On the day we planed to leave,
we talked and took photos with a Soya Bean aunty.
Feel weird? Yea, kinda weird, but it's fun.
Until the second last day we stay in FengHua,
we found her shop selling home made soy milk.
She has black bean, green bean, peanut and milk and yellow bean's soy milk.
You can even mix all of them if you want.
In the last day's morning, we bought from her and went to a restaurant for breakfast.
I feel like having one more cup and I went back to her.
I called her twice and she came out and showed surprise face to me and say she thought it's kid calling her since my voice sounds sweet. I replied: It's because I drank your soy milk!
She was so happy and start talking to me while making soy milk.
We talked a lot and end up with 1 new cup of medium soy milk which I only order a small one.
After travelling to other places, we decided to go back and buy again.
We talked and laughed again, ask her to open a store in HK, Msia,etc.
We even promised her we will be back after 10 years,
and ask her not to mover her store. She laugh and says, I won't, I will wait for you.
How sweet the aunty are.
Surprise of the day--> Interesting aunty and full cup of soy milk!:P

Can't forget our hostel's person in charge.
In fact, it's their house, and both husband and wife serve us.
Both of them are very nice.
They bring us to show, direct us good restaurants, and give us free heater.
We have a long talk with the wife, asked about the reason they opened the hostels and many other topics.
I still can recall that she doesn't like her mother-in-law(if i m not mistaken)

In FengHuang, we always talk to the local people.
From the conversation, we can know more about their culture and their daily life.
We can't get this kind of information or experience from traveller's guide, and not even the books.
All you need to do is dare to open your mouth and talk to them, listen to them and feel them.
This is so call "TRAVEL", isn't it?
Travel is not about to take photos and sight seeing only,
it will be a very good experience if you can go into local's life.
This time, we did it. :)

FengHua, we are going back with the title of "ee ee" or "mummy"and "wife",
hope we still feel like treasure hunting after 10 years!

After leaving FengHua, we went to HangZhou and took a lot of nice photos.
My little red miss J and S so  much and finally we can take photo together!

-->Fast Forward<--
Finally meet my dear roomie and KarShin, seniors and juniors.
Juniors are cute and seniors are funny.LOL
And my HK friends!
Miss them so much, but it feels so good to see them again without any weird feelings.
Especially Faye,she pinched me when she first saw me.
Feel so familiar with everything.
The uni, the people, the streets, the culture.

After leaving HK only  I realise how much I love HK
and how much it means to me.

Lastly, will be very busy this semester, probably will not update so frequently because my workload is quite heavy.
Besides, need to remind myself my goal for this semester: Study hard and Enjoy life...AND Do more exercises!!

Last lastly, Welcome home YAN!:D

给 那些自视过高的人

我真是受够了。
谣言的力量，背后放箭的威力，
我不是没有见识过，
也不是没有中招过，
但是我真的是受够了。
虽然事情并不是发生在我自己身上，
但是只要是伤害我身边的人，
我绝对不容许。


用很简单的道理，
想一下你是哪个被自己抹黑的人，
你做何感想？
真的无法忍受，在facebook上发了这样的状态：


我只能说，自视过高的人永远只会批评别人，甚至在背后放箭，而不会反省自己。如果你要批评，麻烦你直接到那个人的面前去说明一切，在背后以小人之心度君子之腹，只会显得你不识大体，小人也。再说，你有胆量在背后放箭，为什么没胆量当面质问你所批评的那个人？是因为真的没胆量还是你说的不是事实？心照不宣了吧！
“口说好话，心想好意，身行好事”——如果每个人都能够把才能用在对的地方，如果每个人能够少讲一点是非，如果每个人能够对彼此坦白一点，世界就和平多了。你看，你只需要努力“一点”，大家一起努力“一点”，累积下来，就是大改变了，关键在于我们罢了。醒醒吧。

写完，

似乎要加个：善哉善哉，

才符合我的状态。

我跟朋友说，

我真的超适合慈济的，

我应该去出家，

我应该要去宣扬佛法。

我真的对这些人看不过眼。

至于为什么突然这样极端，

全是拜这些唯恐天下不乱的人说赐的。

一个不实的谣言可以使人家身败名裂，

可以让人家妻离子散，可以让人家失去性命。

亲爱的造谣者，

请你去证实这个谣言了以后才把他说出来，

不要道听途说。

好了，就算你要把这个谣言说出来，

麻烦你说你也不确定，也是听来的，

千万不要加盐加醋，

此乃小人之举。

我只想说，

伤害人家的XXXXXR，

很多事情都是有因果关系的，

你现在讲得那么开心，那么不用负责任，

有一天到你沦为这样的对象时，

不要哭着说你后悔当初口不择言。

I left my smile behind

There are too many stories in our life,
not till the end, we do not know how is the ending.
However, we can control the story line,
although sometimes it will go out of control.

How if our story is out of control?
It is the fact anyway, we can't change anything.
Well, change your attitude towards the particular content.
After you changed, you may find out that actually it's not so hard,
it's always you yourself making things complicated.

You suffered, you cry, you scream, you call for help.
When nobody is there for you, you look around, cry even louder, scream like hell.
Now, the question is so clear.
Why are you crying?
Because of sadness?madness?disappointment? what else?
Or it's just  because you need other's caring?
The answer has never been so clear, right?

You look into my eyes, I can see your eyes flooded by tears.
Without speaking any word, I know your answer is a simple yes.
I can hear your heart, struggling in the dark.
Trust is the issue, and it does matter.
You are choosing trust or not to trust.
When you decided to trust,
your past hold you back,
reminding you the sad story.

Someone whisper beside your ears,
telling you you shouldn't judge the issue by letting your past in.
You nod your head, tell me you want to go for a walk, alone.

It's 10 degree outside, not that cold.
Actually it's nice weather, because there is sunshine without strong wind.
You walk so slow, breath in fresh air,  breath out sadness.
When you reach your destination,
all the sadnesses are gone, magically.

But you forget about your smile,
you left it behind.
Don't rush back.
Go back slowly, you will find your way.
Very soon, your smile will be back.


**Is so tired of using internet,it makes the distance between people so close yet so far,
and unreachable. It only makes people frustrated and fragile.**

青春，遗憾

虽然九把刀的《那些年我们一起追的女孩》上映了很久，
但是由于我不在马来西亚也不在香港，
所以没办法第一时间看。
终于在今天让我下载了！

下载的过程还很奔波，
竟然不小心下载到A片。
害我觉得怪怪的，
怎么一开起来是那样的画面，
影片还长达四个小时！
无言。

《那些年》的电影版跟小说版没什么差别，
几乎是一模一样的。
可能是因为九把刀的书本来就是按照电影的方式来写的，
所以当我们看书的时候就感觉上在看电影一样。
所以在这本书还拍成电影时，
他就跟小说一样，顺序也没太大差别。

不知道是因为书是在很久以前看的，
还是是因为电影是有画面的，比较有感觉，
所以看完了电影，感触竟然一涌而上。
我也很怀念自己的中学生活，
似乎中学生活是我这一生里最最宝贵的回忆，
中学的朋友们也是我这一生里很重要的“资产”。

其实看了以后，
会觉得青春如果没有遗憾，
就不能够称之为青春。
像九把刀，
他的青春之所以那么热血是因为他没有跟沈佳宜在一起。
如果他跟沈佳宜在一起的话，
就不会有这本书，也不会有今天的九把刀吧。
但是也的确很纳闷，
沈佳宜的现任老公看到九把刀这样写自己的太太，
会怎么样呢？
那沈佳宜有没有后悔没有跟九把刀一起呢？
这些答案，恐怕只有沈佳宜自己才知道了吧。

看完了电影，
一直在想自己以前有没有让自己觉得遗憾的事情。
但是想了很久，
好像没有一件事让我觉得真的很遗憾的。
因为我没有像九把刀一样喜欢一个女生（男生）那么久。

不过遗憾的事情，似乎有一件是现在式的。

好久没跟她讲话了。
这样好像意味着一开始就不应该跟她讲那件事。
遗憾，不是因为她的不接受，
而是因为她的不了解。
认识了我20年，为什么不理解，我根本不是那样的人？
有时候，最恐怖的不是人家不理解你，
而是你以为世界上一定能够懂你的人，完全不懂你。
或许大家会觉得我太断定这个人懂我，
但是真的，她肯定会懂我。
抑或许，她真的不懂这样的我？
我不知道。
不想纠结在这样的问题上。
但的确遗憾，那种失落遗憾感不是单纯的感受，
而是化成阻碍生活的困扰。
虽然一直提醒自己不要放在心上，
可是却没办法忘记。
又偏偏，这个她是我生命中最重要的人，
她的分量，足于主导我的生活。
现在什么都做不了，
只能够等。
我不期望接受，只希望能够体谅。

还有20天就是20岁了。
1字开头的生活即将结束，
迎来2字头的未来，
有了计划其实一点都不茫然，
但是计划成不成功，怎么去实行，
还真的是有点迷茫。
不过，至少有计划了，多多少少也是件好事吧！

在上海的日子还剩下不到一个月，
虽然有遗憾的青春才完整，
但是拜托，拜托你下雪！
拜托你让我睡觉起来打开窗口，
哇！白茫茫的一片！
拜托了！

又一个最近

以前每逢不开心，开心，
都会上来敲敲自己的心情。
什么时候，
开心与不开心都没有那股冲动上来写下自己的心情？
什么时候，
伤心的事情已经变成无法用言语发泄的地步？
抑或许没有伤心的事情所以不需要上来逛逛？
但明明就是有开心的时候，但是却忘了这个地方。
写了一半的北京trip，为什么不再继续写下去？
前天明明发生了一些事情，明明有想起这个地方，明明爸爸也提醒自己写下来，
为什么，我没有？
什么时候荒废了我这块小小的心灵，
什么时候我忘记了自己？

竟然写出了重点，我又丢了自己。

每次有空闲的时间，
不是看戏就是跟朋友聊天。
看书呢？遗忘了。
听歌呢？遗忘了。
散步呢？遗忘了。

有时候，你有勇气去完成的事情，
未必会有结果。
有时候，你能够尊重人家，
未必会得到人家的体谅。
你以为所谓的长大所谓的成熟，
其实真的只是你以为而已。

最近太空闲，
星期二星期三的课结束了，
只剩下星期一跟星期四。
等待西安trip，等待sunnie来上海，等待回香港。
等待新年回家，等待去盈新家过夜，等待跟其他死党见面。
等待所有事情过去，等待体谅。

每次半夜emo，
都会出去走走。
喝一碗有奶妈味道的红豆汤，
还是一瓶比利时的啤酒，
吹一吹海边刺骨的风，
喝一喝有印度味的拉茶，
听一听一首很旧的歌。
但是现在只有FOC的冷空气，
还有一条“12点关门”的条规。

写到这里，我发觉长大变成熟一点都不好玩。
因为人永远不会满足，
纵使你成熟了，你还是觉得不够，
因为It is endless。
这个成长的游戏，一直到你死亡的那天才会划下句点。

但是，我不会投降。
一直以来，都是越挫越勇，遇强则强。
求生意志驱使着我向前，
虽然一直都步步惊心，
但我不会放弃。
我会用时间去证明所有的事情，
不需要太多的言语，不需要太多的动作。

还有一个月多就正式告别19岁，
又是人生的另外一个阶段，
要好好加油！为自己不平凡的生活写上新的一页！
quote我朋友的话：Fighting!!!!